At times I would say I had self-centered
At times I felt like a prisoner of myself
All that's passed , I'm no longer captivated by myself,
The lesson that I took from this;
Not to be taken by myself.
- Rumi
3.12.16
30.8.16
14.8.16
priorities and doubts
I am a daughter first before I am a student.
I am a sister first before I am a student.
So, I started asking questions like
"Does this happens because of me?"
"Are my actions making everybody else's life's hard?"
And then somebody said "Yes"
And she said it right to myself.
And it hits me really hard.
And she is the most important woman in my life.
That is when I started to doubt myself.
I doubt my decision and I knew it's too late.
And I know you can't have doubts when you want to be a doctor.
But it just,
Can't be helped.
Just as I was looking for someone to turn to.
I realized I had none.
Because it was always my family that I turn to.
I am a sister first before I am a student.
So, I started asking questions like
"Does this happens because of me?"
"Are my actions making everybody else's life's hard?"
And then somebody said "Yes"
And she said it right to myself.
And it hits me really hard.
And she is the most important woman in my life.
That is when I started to doubt myself.
I doubt my decision and I knew it's too late.
And I know you can't have doubts when you want to be a doctor.
But it just,
Can't be helped.
Just as I was looking for someone to turn to.
I realized I had none.
Because it was always my family that I turn to.
26.3.16
Back to basics
When you're far away from home,
It's easier to forget,
It's easier to go astray,
Astray from who you were,
Astray from your goals,
Even astray from your own religion.
All you want to do is try new things.
All you want to do was become someone new.
but hey, not all new things are good for ya.
And sometimes changing could be for the worse.
You may be far away from people's eyes who cares about yoi, but you can never run away from the eyes above you.
May Allah forgive all our sins , open our hearts and bring us back to the right track towards his blessing and keep us on the right track towards Jannah.
It's easier to forget,
It's easier to go astray,
Astray from who you were,
Astray from your goals,
Even astray from your own religion.
All you want to do is try new things.
All you want to do was become someone new.
but hey, not all new things are good for ya.
And sometimes changing could be for the worse.
You may be far away from people's eyes who cares about yoi, but you can never run away from the eyes above you.
May Allah forgive all our sins , open our hearts and bring us back to the right track towards his blessing and keep us on the right track towards Jannah.
20.2.16
A glimpse of PMG Sarawak 2016
On 8th of February till 10th of February, I joined PMG (Perkampungan Menara Gading) not as a participant but as a facilitator to the participants.
For all of those who doesn't know what PMG is, it's like a camp for students who will soon be joining the university life or matriks or STPM , especially for students who had just finished their SPM and currently waiting for their results.
PMG is actually held all over Malaysia under PKPIM which stands for Persauan Kebajikan Pelajar Islam Malaysia. And PKPIM had branches all over Malaysia, for Sarawak, PMG was held under PERKEPIS, Persatuan Kebajikan Pelajar Sarawak.
There were only 10 participants for this year's PMG Sarawak because at first , we wanted to conduct the program at UNIMAS but because there were construction going on at the university, we had to reduce the number of participants as the accommodation in Matang Wildlife Centre was limited.
I was nervous when I was appointed as one of the facilitators alongside Azy my sister from another mother and father, and Hanisah our new friend from IKMAS. I never had any experience being a facilitator nor the experience of joining PMG. I don't even have the experience of being an older sister. lol. But this could be a good way for me to sharpen my communication skills, and build up my own confidence.
So, me and Hasra handled the registration. And Dyl , the photographer.
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| The first person who registered, Najwa |
When we arrived we were given a briefing of the do's and dont's at the Matang wildlife centre.
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| Tengok siapa paling serious sekali haha |
And so, the program starts. In this 3 days 2 nights program, I didn't just discover a little bit about my anak buah, but also their history, their backgrounds. I didn't just discover their lives, without realizing, I discover my own self in the process of getting to know other people.
It's ashamed that one of the girls had to go back early because she was having a fever, but Alhamdulillah we still keep in contact.
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| akak akak fasi OCD |
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| trust fall |
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| dalam usaha mencita bola |
 |
| the bros |
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| ni la apa akak akak fasi buat bila korang smua dlm bilik |
 |
| barbeque malam trakhir |
 |
| while waiting fr dinner to be prepared |
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| dinner is served |
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| azy je gembira makan biskut |
 |
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| sesi berkongsi kisah hidup |
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| sesi berkongsi kisah hidup brsama brothers |
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| how to manage your money in uni |
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| bonding time bween sisters |
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| salam ukhuwah |
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| emotional time fr the person who has been kidnapped |
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| our lst slot, where they gave their feedbacks During this very last slot, it was kinda emotional for azy and I, because one of our anak buah finally spek out in front of a crowd. I was also touched when hearing their feedbacks on the program. I felt appreciated and satisfied because Alhamdulllah our objectives were nailed. Eventhought we only have 10 participants, it's true that quality is improved over quantity.May this ukhuwah can be sustained till jannah, All the best gaiss :) |
14.2.16
The Art Of Common Courtesy
"DEFINITION : POLITE BEHAVIOR THAT SHOWS RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE."
E.g : They treated us with courtesy and kindness. He didn't even know the common courtesy to say goodbye when he left.
Maziah was scrolling Twitter. Suddenly she laughed and showed me this one tweet.
Then she said "Benda ceni pun nak kecoh. Common lah orang kat KL Sentral mestilah beratur. Tak paham aku. "
But then, I had a different opinion.
"Biarlah dia nk tweet benda baik. Sekarang ni org lupa common courtesy. Sampaikan benda tu dh tak common. Let this be a reminder to those who forget."
And so, the debate begins. Hurmm susah jugak dua dua budak
debat. But it was more of a discussion.
She thought that there was no need to tweet this kind of things. And I thought it was okay, there's nothing wrong in portraying the good we see in people, it could become a motivation for people to do more good.
Rather than people who just bash people, when they see one bad thing people did, took a picture, made it viral on social media. Bukannya nak pergi kat org tu, bagi tahu elok-elok, instead dia aibkan lagi, not just aibkan the person himself or herself, but also giving a bad name to the country by mentioning "Malaysians did this" or "Malaysians did that" or "Apa nak jadi dengan orang Malaysia sekarang ni".
Yes, mungkin kita tak berani nak tegur, I mean ya lah, you want to tegur some strangers on the streets. But that does not give us or any other people the right to aibkan that person.
Dari Abu Sa’id Al Khudri radhiyallahu ‘anhu dia berkata, “Aku mendengar Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda, ‘Barang siapa di antara kalian yang melihat kemungkaran, hendaklah dia merubahnya dengan tangannya. Apabila tidak mampu maka hendaknya dengan lisannya. Dan apabila tidak mampu lagi maka dengan hatinya, sesungguhnya itulah selemah-lemah iman.” (HR. Muslim)
Sometimes, people don't realise what they did is wrong. That is why we live in a community, where we have other people to help us on the things we need to improve. On the things that can only be seen from certain eyes and angles.
Nowadays , people take common courtesy to lightly. This things could make someones day. For example, a simple thank you , a smile or a seat offered to the old lady or the pregnant women you saw on the bus or the train.
One more thing, we all had that one friend who is so kind, it's hard to hear him say no. It makes me mad how people usually take other people's kindness for granted. Even if they said it's okay, they smiled, we should know better than to just make it convenient only for ourselves. Please don't be a selfish person, if we could settle things without making it hard for other people, what is wrong with that? And if people do help, it's common courtesy to say thank you. It's common courtesy when you carpool with people and you give them some money for gas. These are common courtesy. Remember, do good to people who did good to you, do good even to people who did bad to you. Just a reminder to myself and all, May Allah bless Assalamualaikum.
E.g : They treated us with courtesy and kindness. He didn't even know the common courtesy to say goodbye when he left.
Maziah was scrolling Twitter. Suddenly she laughed and showed me this one tweet.
Then she said "Benda ceni pun nak kecoh. Common lah orang kat KL Sentral mestilah beratur. Tak paham aku. "
But then, I had a different opinion.
"Biarlah dia nk tweet benda baik. Sekarang ni org lupa common courtesy. Sampaikan benda tu dh tak common. Let this be a reminder to those who forget."
And so, the debate begins. Hurmm susah jugak dua dua budak
debat. But it was more of a discussion.
She thought that there was no need to tweet this kind of things. And I thought it was okay, there's nothing wrong in portraying the good we see in people, it could become a motivation for people to do more good.
Rather than people who just bash people, when they see one bad thing people did, took a picture, made it viral on social media. Bukannya nak pergi kat org tu, bagi tahu elok-elok, instead dia aibkan lagi, not just aibkan the person himself or herself, but also giving a bad name to the country by mentioning "Malaysians did this" or "Malaysians did that" or "Apa nak jadi dengan orang Malaysia sekarang ni".
Yes, mungkin kita tak berani nak tegur, I mean ya lah, you want to tegur some strangers on the streets. But that does not give us or any other people the right to aibkan that person.
Dari Abu Sa’id Al Khudri radhiyallahu ‘anhu dia berkata, “Aku mendengar Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda, ‘Barang siapa di antara kalian yang melihat kemungkaran, hendaklah dia merubahnya dengan tangannya. Apabila tidak mampu maka hendaknya dengan lisannya. Dan apabila tidak mampu lagi maka dengan hatinya, sesungguhnya itulah selemah-lemah iman.” (HR. Muslim)
Sometimes, people don't realise what they did is wrong. That is why we live in a community, where we have other people to help us on the things we need to improve. On the things that can only be seen from certain eyes and angles.
Nowadays , people take common courtesy to lightly. This things could make someones day. For example, a simple thank you , a smile or a seat offered to the old lady or the pregnant women you saw on the bus or the train.
One more thing, we all had that one friend who is so kind, it's hard to hear him say no. It makes me mad how people usually take other people's kindness for granted. Even if they said it's okay, they smiled, we should know better than to just make it convenient only for ourselves. Please don't be a selfish person, if we could settle things without making it hard for other people, what is wrong with that? And if people do help, it's common courtesy to say thank you. It's common courtesy when you carpool with people and you give them some money for gas. These are common courtesy. Remember, do good to people who did good to you, do good even to people who did bad to you. Just a reminder to myself and all, May Allah bless Assalamualaikum.
26.1.16
Benefits Of Problems
"No money to eat, not understanding the class, couldn't answer the exams, doubting what you want to be in the future."
These are the few PROBLEMS that are probably running in someone's mind.
You may think I'm crazy for saying these things has it's benefits.
I thought my Chemistry lecturer was crazy when he first proposed this statement in front of our class.
It was because when he said this, I encountered a lot of problems, which had probably led me to mild depression, and caused me to think about weird things.
It was his last class for this semester, hence his last class with our class since it was the final semester before we ended our foundation and continue our degrees.
He was famous for giving extra work to his students, and high blood pressure whenever it's his class.
I never thought that he would did what he had did.
He asked us to wrote our problems on a piece of paper. Then folded them into an airplane.
He counted to three, and we all throw our airplanes in the lecture hall. Some may not admit, but it's obvious that everybody felt it.
HAPPY. FREE. THE FEELING OF UNITY IN OUR CLASS.
Smiles were painted on our faces, feeling like a child again, happy to participate in the activity.
He said "Those were your problems, and you threw them away. Some of the airplanes (problems) landed on the table, some is already near at the exit waiting for someone, maybe a friend to help them out, while some makes a u-turn in the middle of the journey. While you were writing them, you felt stressed out, even angry maybe thinking about 1001 problems which are occurring in your life right now. When you threw them away, you felt happy, maybe sad because it came back. But that was it, what you felt were emotions. Without problems there shall be no emotions, you wouldn't felt happy, because there is nothing to feel happy about, no satisfaction of overcoming an obstacle, without it, you won't ever feel angry, sad, annoyed because there are nothing to feel angry about. You will simply lose emotions. And without emotions you'll simply lose the humanity that made us human. You shall lose the excitement of life by just simply living. You wouldn't feel. You wouldn't hurt. You wouldn't love."
I was awestruck by what he said. By how true it was to me.
Come to think of it everything happens for a reason.It's the law of the universe. The law of God.
So, if you're having a bad day or encountering too much problems at the moment, it's only to make you stronger, to make you a better person, to make you a better you. :)
These are the few PROBLEMS that are probably running in someone's mind.
You may think I'm crazy for saying these things has it's benefits.
I thought my Chemistry lecturer was crazy when he first proposed this statement in front of our class.
It was because when he said this, I encountered a lot of problems, which had probably led me to mild depression, and caused me to think about weird things.
It was his last class for this semester, hence his last class with our class since it was the final semester before we ended our foundation and continue our degrees.
He was famous for giving extra work to his students, and high blood pressure whenever it's his class.
I never thought that he would did what he had did.
He asked us to wrote our problems on a piece of paper. Then folded them into an airplane.
He counted to three, and we all throw our airplanes in the lecture hall. Some may not admit, but it's obvious that everybody felt it.
HAPPY. FREE. THE FEELING OF UNITY IN OUR CLASS.
Smiles were painted on our faces, feeling like a child again, happy to participate in the activity.
He said "Those were your problems, and you threw them away. Some of the airplanes (problems) landed on the table, some is already near at the exit waiting for someone, maybe a friend to help them out, while some makes a u-turn in the middle of the journey. While you were writing them, you felt stressed out, even angry maybe thinking about 1001 problems which are occurring in your life right now. When you threw them away, you felt happy, maybe sad because it came back. But that was it, what you felt were emotions. Without problems there shall be no emotions, you wouldn't felt happy, because there is nothing to feel happy about, no satisfaction of overcoming an obstacle, without it, you won't ever feel angry, sad, annoyed because there are nothing to feel angry about. You will simply lose emotions. And without emotions you'll simply lose the humanity that made us human. You shall lose the excitement of life by just simply living. You wouldn't feel. You wouldn't hurt. You wouldn't love."
I was awestruck by what he said. By how true it was to me.
Come to think of it everything happens for a reason.It's the law of the universe. The law of God.
So, if you're having a bad day or encountering too much problems at the moment, it's only to make you stronger, to make you a better person, to make you a better you. :)
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