closing the book of 2013, but keeping the memories.

its might be the end of 2013, but there's more to come in 2014.

Hey, it’s been like 6 months since I’ve updated this blog. I guess, I just don’t have the time or the ‘feel’to write. But I’ve never stopped writing actually. It’s just that I enjoyed writing by hand more than typing. Well, enough of that blabbering, the reason I write this post is because , well 2014 is coming babe! I would be lying if I said I’m not nervous and anxious. Well, actually, im critically am. But im determined and looking forward to this year. It’s just that, it would be my last year of actually studying in school. It’s spm im gonna face next year. It’s gonna be one of my life BIGGEST turning point. Who knows where I’ll end up after that. I guess I just have to make the best out of it. And right now, I had choices. Choices that I have to make. Yeah, in life we had always have choices. It’s either we realize it or not that makes a difference. It’s not fate that have led us to where we are now , it’s the choices we made. It’s heartbreaking to see people blame things around them for their on faults . I know I have done that too. But, there’s no use crying over spilt milk. Never regret, if it’s good it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience. I’ve been holding on to that since the incident.  And right now, I choose to study diligently, make my parents proud and follow my sisters footsteps. I have to get excellent results. NO, I need to. And the fact that all my sisters are studying overseas make the spark in me turn into flames. I have goals to achieve. An im gonna try my hardest to turn it into reality. If I alreay tried my best, but I didn’t get what I want, at least I don’t regret. It’s just because Allah had better plans for me. I’m preparing my heart for things to come in 2014, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride, and I know it’s gonna take forever fo me to be FULLY READY but at least I know what to expect. I know I have to step up my game coz my friends are far ahead of me. but it's not too late to catch up with em.

Well, this is gonna be my last post for 2013. And the end year holidays without any of my sisters is a total bummer. It’s my first long holidays without ANY of em, as far as I remembered. And it’s because they were at other parts of the world, and to be honest I actually, miss them. Not that I don’t enjoy the quality time with my parents. It was fun actually. But I guess, its… different. They were very understanding actually. They let me went out with my friends and go to camp. Furthermore, all the weddings kept my mind off things. My holiday was spent with, me and my parents went to weddings to catching up with my friends, to having a heated up discussion about issues which has no point of arguing with my parents or just watching them doing that, to a whole lot of wattpad, what can u say, im addicted to it *sigh*,  to  doing my piles homework which I never get to finish at the last minute. This holiday, the lessons I’ve learnt is that, family is home. I don’t care if it’s KL, or N. Sembilan or anywhere, I came to realize that, if we’re all together, that’s where I belong. I’m truly grateful I have a big one. So that, if there is anybody’s missing, it’ll let u take things off ur mind, because was always occupied by other family members. Yeah, I don’t interact much with my bigger family *yeah, im the socially awkward type when im with my ‘em*, but just watching them having fun and comfortable around each other makes me happy., During this holiday too, I unravel some secrets about the family, and I hope things work out between ‘em. I also know that I need to change, yeah I know ive said that for a few times already, and u may think im all talk and no actions but its hard you know.  To adapt to new situations each time. You might think im someone who  doesn’t have a stand. But I know, if changing makes you a better person, why not?

This post is getting longer, and longer and I need to stop. I’m going back to superb today, a day early to carry my responsibilities as a prefect. Yeah, it’s hard, at one point I just want to gave everything up ya know. To be a student, a prefect and a friend at the same time. But im sure people choose me to carry this responsibility because they believe I can do it. Allah knows I can do it. Because He never test a person beyond the person’s abilities. Now, all I need is to trust myself. I can carry my responsibility to make up what I had done in my former school. And this gave me a chance to know my priorities. I just want to do my best in this. I’ve already had a list of new year’s resolution this year in my head. And maybe at the end of 2014, i'll tell u what it is and have I achieved it or not., I want to do my best in 2014. And I’ll pray hard that I can live up to that.If Allah wills it, im sure with hard work and prayers, I’d make it. Please wish me the best of luck, please give me full support in my decisions, please guide me if Im starting to stray away and please pray for me. I need all the support I can from the people around me. And I wish the best of luck for all of y’all out there for 2014. Thank you for the memories in 2013 and a BIG sorry if I had done anything wong to any one of u who is reading this. ;)

crazyness :D

bile lg nk jmpe buat bnde gegile mcm ni?hee.

finding peace.in my own world.with my own soundtrack of my life.just the way i like it. 

HKSBP 2013, our first time ever debating ^^

" u may be the cunning linguist, but i am the master debater.'"

That was the first line sir kar tought us to use in the reply speech in debate. He said use it if u are confident enough. The thing is im not. We were not. We were not even ready. To face those experienced debaters who has been in the arena quiet a few times. We lose all 3 rounds. We lose to sms dungun, who were very nice, we lose to sains rembau, which was a little bit aggressive but i can't deny they were good, n we lose to sm sains selangor which all 3 were professionals, cool n calm trying their hardest to control their faces especially the 3rd opposition. Nevertheless, we learned a lot. On the techniques on how to debate, to their style and strategy. 5 days we spent there, 5 days of holidays we sacrificed being there, it was worth the experience we gain. HKSBP, we'll  meet again next year, Insyaallah we will come as a stronger, more professional team. ^^

Ouh, btw, we still haven't figured out the meaning of the line our sir tought us. He wouldn't tell. Anybody knows?

first few months in superb till symposium ,

assalamualaikum.yeah, it's been a long time since i up have updated my blog, well, tak berkesempatan,
let me tell  a little bit of my story in SMAP Bentong a.k.a SUPERB.
0n 29/1/13, that was my first day there, in a new school, new environment, in a school i've never even heard of before.
The school was opened last year in June.Before, i dont even know where Bentong is. Yeah, i know, my geography sucks,
It is located in Felda Mempaga, surrounded by palm oil.
My first impression is, new school, cantik. but then act, a new school is't that WOW pon,
it's act short of teachers n we have to actually learn March, lots n lots of students decided to move,
well, i wanted too because of these few reasons :-
-science sbjects in b.m, kinda hard for us who have learned them in bi since standard 1
-for aspuri, riadah is compulsory, so we dont have a choice actually n schedule is vry tight
- short of teachers, classes combined, made it hard to focus cos one class about 80 stdents
-Arabic is superhard
-the worst thing is, CAMERA ISNT ALLOWED, that rule is soo irrelevant, isnt it?
But then i think back, if i wanna move, i hve to go through procedures, pk hem, n how about my new clothes n tdung which we spent moe than rm100 on?
So i tried my best to think rationally n be as matured as i can.evrday i chant to myself 'stay, u can do it'.
Not long after that, Allah gave me the chance to represent my school to go to FRSIS in SSP,
so, at that time it was compulsory for me to stay,
FRSIS at SSP was fun though,
i learned a lot there,
and going there made me realize that man, there is sooo mch smart people out here,
i felt small there,
n it was fun to have those symposium buddies, (ecah,hazazi,ikhlas)
they were the one of the first people i actually felt vry comfortable with.
anway, here's a few snapshots,

that cute akak is frm sms kuching,

their from sma padang.

our team, ikhlas, hazazi, cah, me.

playing at the panasonic cnter.

to be continued..

saujana's endless love .

"Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart."

Im happy seeing them happy. But oh, how i wish i was there with them too. 3 angsana '12, i miss u guys, n our crazy times. :)